A Man Wants to Track Down the Mysterious Blonde Who Keeps Maliciously Pooping on His Porch
HIGHLIGHTS: In New Mexico, a guy is trying to track down a young, skinny, blonde woman who keeps POOPING ON HIS HOUSE. His security cameras have caught her doing it four times in the middle of her jogging. He called it, quote, "malicious fecal distribution." He went to the local news for help, because he thought the cops wouldn't take him seriously. Obviously they loved it and ran with it.
FULL STORY: There's a man in Albuquerque, New Mexico with a unique problem. A young, skinny, blonde woman keeps maliciously pooping on his house.
The man was only identified as Bobby. His security cameras caught the woman jogging past his house on Easter Sunday . . . then running up next to it, dropping her pants, doing her dirty business, and running away. She doesn't even wipe.
He thought it was a one-time thing . . . then it happened again and again. He's caught the same woman pooping on his house FOUR TIMES.
He says, quote, "This is malicious fecal distribution."
He thought about going to the police, but figured they wouldn't take him seriously. So instead, he went to the local ABC affiliate. Naturally, they loved it and ran a two-minute piece about Bobby's problem on the evening news.
Bobby says he hopes the attention from the newscast will make the woman realize he has cameras . . . and shame her into stopping her malicious pooping spree.